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YOUR BEST FRIEND

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Hey,
theres so many thing i want to say and i wouldnt even know where to start. I still see you in my dreams occassional, im so sorry. i apologise everytime, everything is a mess. im close to no one know since everything, i feel like ive lost myself again. I’m a stranger to the person i was in the past. My therapist thinks i need to get out, ikyk why. i text a family member of yours the other day to check up after everything, they said to me always be happy and if your not get out, how do they know? i am happy, well atleast i think i am ? however no matter what i do , something feels wrong. i think its dug into me , to always never quite feel contempt with everything? i wasnt with you too, you didnt deserve to treat me the way you did you know? i was a broken record and you keep playing me scratching me more and more, they fixed that in a way until they didnt. now im in a situation i never thought id be in. Im drowning everyday and yet no one notices. I f the reaper cuz i know my time had come, cant you see? i was either going to d at 12 or 93. i cant see anyone because everything connects back to you. did you know that wooden spoons can cause a whole arguement? i do now. its easier this way even if i didnt ask for it.

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I know it doesn’t matter anymore, but i hope everything is going good for you. I hope you are happy with whoever and how ever many partners you may have, and i hope you’re living the life your younger self dreamed of one day. I know you’ve struggled for so long, and i wish we could still call each other up to vent and talk about things. I wish we could still talk about the vast mysteries of the universe, with inter mitten facts about the stars in the sky. I wish we could lay down and see the stars for what they truly are again, on the back road in your hometown.
I regret losing myself in my own grief and addiction.
I regret losing you in the process.
I know it doesn’t matter anymore, but i still regret hurting you while i was lost. I will never forgive myself for that.
But despite that, i know that you are out there in the world. Shining light wherever you go, on whomever you meet.
As a champion for good, and a voice for those who cant.
A beautiful sunflower, blossoming for all to see.
If the world turned its back on you, id still take you in, and help you.
That’s what I’ve always done, and that’s what ill always do.
Ill always love you, from the bottom of my heart.
Life is a beautiful journey, Thank you for including me in part of yours.
I’m sorry our paths split away, and can only pray they may cross again.
I know it doesn’t matter anymore, but i love you. i always will.
ps you owe me $50 for mocha lattes fees.

I know it doesn’t matter anymore, but i hope everything is going good for you. I hope you are happy with whoever and how ever many partners you may have, and i hope you’re living the life your younger self dreamed of one day. I know you’ve struggled for so long, and i wish we could still call each other up to vent and talk about things. I wish we could still talk about the vast mysteries of the universe, with inter mitten facts about the stars in the sky. I wish we could lay down and see the stars for what they truly are again, on the back road in your hometown.
I regret losing myself in my own grief and addiction.
I regret losing you in the process.
I know it doesn’t matter anymore, but i still regret hurting you while i was lost. I will never forgive myself for that.
But despite that, i know that you are out there in the world. Shining light wherever you go, on whomever you meet.
As a champion for good, and a voice for those who cant.
A beautiful sunflower, blossoming for all to see.
If the world turned its back on you, id still take you in, and help you.
That’s what I’ve always done, and that’s what ill always do.
Ill always love you, from the bottom of my heart.
Life is a beautiful journey, Thank you for including me in part of yours.
I’m sorry our paths split away, and can only pray they may cross again.
I know it doesn’t matter anymore, but i love you. i always will.
ps you owe me $50 for mocha lattes fees.