Hey,
theres so many thing i want to say and i wouldnt even know where to start. I still see you in my dreams occassional, im so sorry. i apologise everytime, everything is a mess. im close to no one know since everything, i feel like ive lost myself again. I’m a stranger to the person i was in the past. My therapist thinks i need to get out, ikyk why. i text a family member of yours the other day to check up after everything, they said to me always be happy and if your not get out, how do they know? i am happy, well atleast i think i am ? however no matter what i do , something feels wrong. i think its dug into me , to always never quite feel contempt with everything? i wasnt with you too, you didnt deserve to treat me the way you did you know? i was a broken record and you keep playing me scratching me more and more, they fixed that in a way until they didnt. now im in a situation i never thought id be in. Im drowning everyday and yet no one notices. I f the reaper cuz i know my time had come, cant you see? i was either going to d at 12 or 93. i cant see anyone because everything connects back to you. did you know that wooden spoons can cause a whole arguement? i do now. its easier this way even if i didnt ask for it.