You weren’t the best friend, but neither was I, I miss having you around. I didn’t want it to end the way it did. I think some part of me wishes I’d never said what I did or at least not said it how I did. The whole thing left a sour taste in my mouth. I don’t know if you’re the kind of person who can understand that though. I honestly don’t know if you can view other people with the same lense I do and I feel like I gave you too much grace with that and it came back to bite me or at least I felt like it did. I wish we could’ve talked about it more. I think I understand your view on it more but I’m also scared that’s just me getting too in my head about things, I’m really bad at letting people go. You probably demonised me a lot for what happened. I don’t know if you telling them that it was a “weight off your shoulders” was lashing out in fear or genuine but it hurt so much to hear and it pisses me off that I couldn’t even tell you I knew that and that’s why I was mad because you didn’t even say it to my face. You did bad things and I know you’ll never admit that probably not even to yourself and I know I’m not innocent either but if I give you an inch you’ll run a mile and I’m not willing to chase after you this time. I know I meant nothing to you but now I’m scared I mean nothing to them either. I think I do? I hope I do. You don’t care about that. You probably hope I don’t. I meant what I said about wanting to talk but I know you definitely think I didn’t. I don’t blame you. I don’t know if I miss you or the idea of you but it feels unbalanced without you and they’re both over it but I’m not. It’s so stupid since we were only ever friends anyway but I think that kinda makes it harder in some ways. Oh well. – Phillip